How Being a Stay at Home Mom is Like Guiding at Wilderness

I worked as a backpacking guide in the San Juan Mountains for 3 summers during college. When I started many more experienced mountaineers told me guiding would be the hardest thing I would ever do. Up until carrying a child, pushing him out of me, recovering from pregnancy, and then caring for a tiny person I would have believed them. The past 18 months have been much more difficult for me than guiding at Wilderness ever was. They do have their similarities, however:

THE TOP 15 WAYS BEING A STAY-AT-HOME-MOM IS LIKE GUIDING AT WILDERNESS:

1. Both experiences involve a lot of POOP. On the trail it was fart tennis, the biff, being constipated, altitooties, and the Hook. Now it is yellow, then green, then blue, then black, putting fingers in it and smearing it in hair, pooping in the tub, having a blow-out-the-diaper poop in the middle of the mall, and for me two toilets full of tar 5 days after labor.

2. BARF: the smell of puke used to really bother me. not after wilderness and not now. while it used to be holding girls' ponytails out of the way of the stream of vommit, now it is knowing that tommy is going to puke by reading his face and then cringing when he reaches toward me to be held while he throws up down my shirt.

3. No SHOWER for a few days? No problem.

4. Both experiences were/are very ISOLATING for me. I remember craving Mexican food, a latte, a trip to Target, or a movie by myself. All the same now. When I came home from WR in the falls going to the grocery store was like being in a foreign country. Also the same now. When we finally get out of our 5 mile radius long enough to notice people, colors, reality, and shapes, it is like a breath of fresh air.

5. OUTSIDE THE BOX THINKING: What do you do on the trail with 15 high school kids besides hike all day? Sing, play games, have contests, make up outrageous stories, give awards, have Christmas, go swimming, throw things off mountains, fully utilize a water-ballon launcher, tie knots, etc. What do you do with a 9-month-old besides look at each other all day? Sing, play games, have contests, make up outrageous stories, give awards, have Christmas, go swimming, throw things off the deck, fully utilize Baby Einstein and our exersaucer, tie knots, etc.

6. Both experiences have given me "glorious and inexpressible JOY."

7. WEIGHT GAIN: A good friend of mine recently told me that she did not gain the freshman 15 in college, but she did gain the Wilderness Ranch 15 each summer. I can totally relate. I came home each year with such strong legs that I looked like one of those mythical horse/man creatures. Also true with pregnancy although a more accurate description might be the "Statepuff Marshmellow Man."

8. CHAFFING: Both experiences unfortunately involve this. Not pleasant. At WR it was usually the top of my boots rubbing against my legs. Recently it is my chubby inner-thighs rubbing against each other on a post-partum walk/jog.

9. One time a friend asked me when I have felt the most BEAUTIFUL. My answer was about day 4 on the trail. Completely natural looking (including armpit hair), usually bonded with kids by this point, and aren't so bad you are craving a shower yet. I had the same feeling when we got home from the hospital and I got out of the shower for the first time. I looked in the mirror at my 2-day post labor body and couldn't believe how BEAUTIFUL it was. Knowing that I had given someone else life was indescribable.

10. GRACE: In both cases, a ton of this is needed for myself and for all the people trying to tell me how to do it.

11. LOST: More than once at WR I looked at my guide partner and said, "SH*#@@! We are lost!" David and I have said the same thing to each other as we navigate this whole parenting thing.

12. DIFFERENCES WITH DAVID: Most of you know that when David and I went on the trail together it was not a firework show of loving feelings. We are so different that we would argue quite a bit about which way to go, what to do next, how I was fun but not responsible, and how he was responsible but not fun. All the same disagreements have come up in having a baby (highlighted by me wanting to listen to Lyle Lovett during labor and him saying that might not be the most "centering" labor music). The big difference though this time around is that we are able to laugh at each other and celebrate the ways we are different b/c we compliment each other so much. David is the perfect dad for Tommy and I am the perfect mom. I wouldn't want to be on this particular trip with anyone else.

13. ALPINE STARTS: Getting up consistently at 3 AM is only something you only do on the trail and as a new mom. (I hope).

14. DEPENDENCE: Both times I have thought, "God I can't do this!" "I can't hike anymore today or deal with this annoying kid or be so isolated from reality" has changed to "I can't put my whole career on hold or change one more poopy diaper or not talk to anyone for one more whole day." I found dependence on God and more specifically the Fruits of the Spirit scripture absolutely imperative.

15. PEACE: When on the trail with kids I remember stopping every once in awhile in a beautiful place like Granite Lake and thinking, "I am doing exactly what I was designed to do right now." I'm getting there in being a mom too.

Great Weekend/Writing

This weekend was one of the best weekends I can remember. I feel awakened culturally and creatively! Friday afternoon I had cooking club, where Allie and I made casseroles, soups, and cookies for our families. We even branched out from our easy, practical menu and picked up ingredients for some Costa Rican dishes next week.

Saturday David, Thomas, and I journeyed on over to the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art near the Plaza, complete with lunch at D'Bronx Deli. Thomas loved the big paintings with multiple colors and is learning to clap when he sees something he likes. Today (Sunday) our family outings consisted of going to hear my mom's band play, time to myself at Starbucks working on my sermon for next week, and dinner with friends from Spain. I love Paella! Yum. Thanks Dani and Belen for a wonderful meal.

Two other random thoughts:
1. Please pray that my grandpa passes peacefully and without pain soon.
2. I have entered some of my writing (children's books and personal essays) in contests. This was a big step for me as I usually shy away from claiming my identity as a writer. I don't care if I win, but I am hoping for a good experience that will encourage me to keep pursuing publication. Hope that I meet some helpful people that are willing to work with me to better my skills. Writing has always been just a hobby that I have enjoyed for myself, but it's time to start seeing if it will go anywhere. I wish I was as confident as Jane Austen (or Anne Hathaway playing Jane Austen in "Becoming Jane") when she says, "I will live by my pen." While making money via writing is a longshot for me, I do highly recommend the movie to any aspiring writers, creative spirits, or artists like myself. It's worth the $6 to go see in the theatre.

First Day of School

This morning David began his 2nd Semester of Graduate Work at KU. He is off to explore the depths of Literature written from the Spanish and Latin American perspecitve. We're so proud of you, Senor!

Book Review

I'd like to recommend this awesome cookbook for anyone who is culinarilly-challenged like me. My cousin sent it to me, and it has really helped to get easy, healthy meals on the table. I've also enjoyed my cooking club with my new friend Allie. We make 2-3 meals a week together while we talk. We trade off who gets the ingredients each week and pick recipies both families like. Both things have made cooking more enjoyable!

Creative Endeavors

When you live in a cookie-cutter suburb house you have to get a little creative with decorating sometimes. Most of you know that I really struggled with staying at home last Spring, which makes me a little nervous for David to start school tomorrow. In an effort to make staying home good for me, I've decided to do one creative thing around our house each week. These Mexican cabinet knobs I found in Taos this summer for $2 each. Something different to look at while I attempt to make a healthy meal each evening! Next week...Tommy's baby book.