You may have seen my posts on Facebook lately. In my seven years of marriage I've finally come to terms with something: I married a thermostat nazi. And it is causing problems for us this winter: the coldest winter in Kansas City in 25 years. There are a few things I've noticed about my nazi, and I would love to hear about yours if your fingers are thawed enough to type.
1. Thermostat nazis cannot be duped. They are absolutely undupable. If I try to sneak in an extra degree or two David sniffs it out like a bloodhound. Within 10 minutes of me pushing the up button David enters the living room and is pushing the down arrow.
2. Thermostat nazis like to stick together and brag about their low thermostat numbers. Like a pack of Olympic athletes, David's fellow nazis actually enjoy talking about how they almost killed their children because they waited until June 15th to turn the AC on. It's a competition, and a fierce one to boot. As soon as David learns someone he knows is a fellow nazi their connection to each other becomes deeper than faith or shared experience. I truly believe David and my mom have a good relationship because they both agree that the AC simply MUST go off on Labor Day.
3. Thermostat nazis truly believe that keeping the thermostat lower in the winter and higher in the summer saves money. Now I am no budgeting expert, but I am guessing that a few degrees one way or the other really doesn't alter the bill that much.
I love you, dear, and I will continue to watch TV at night in my down jacket. But please keep in mind that the Nazis lost the war, and you my friend will pay in some other way.
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4 comments:
I am married to one of those. I've just learned to wear socks in the winter (which I hate socks), and as long as my toes are warm, I feel warm. And... I use the extra savings in our gas bill as leverage to justify additional clothing purchases. Then, it's a win-win!
While the spirit of Adrienne's description of my thermoNazi-ness is right-on, I would like to defend myself against a minor point: I do NOT believe the A/C should go off on Labor Day. The A/C can stay on through September as long as it's not set below 74. And yes, sweetie, the savings add up, and the minor sacrifice of wearing a sweatshirt inside in January or wearing only underwear inside in July is worth it.
OMG Adrienne you are sooooooooooooooooo funny!!! I had to read your blog entry out loud to Aladdin. We were both dying! Aladdin is a fellow Nazi, too!!!
HILARIOUS! If a stand up comedian hasn't covered this topic-they should! I think everyone can relate!! I am a bit of a Nazi myself! I can sense the touch of that button!
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