I had my free personal training session today at the new gym we joined. I sensed it was going to be bad when the trainer left the following message on my answering machine: "Adrienne, Hi how ARE you. This is Wendy from the gym. I'd love to meet with you this week to talk about getting some of this weight I'm seeing on your chart off. Can you come in tomorrow at 6am?"
Uh no. I'm not coming to the gym at 6am to have my ass kicked by this 5'8"-solid muscled-no ounce of fat-drill Sargent. So we made an appointment for 11:30am. Much more my style.
When I joined the gym I was about 10lbs. heavier than I thought I would be. I put the scale away last month because I was getting a little obsessed. I had weighed in for the gym at the end of the day with my clothes on, so according to my previous Weight Watchers friends I was asking for it. But considering all my previous work to lose 30lbs. this year I truly thought I was ready to run with the big dogs. (see my previous post). I know I still have some weight to get off in order to be in peak condition, but I've been feeling great lately, not eating as much crap, and working out 5 days a week.
Enter Wendy. My worst nightmare. When God dealt out empathy she didn't get any. First she showed me some chart that compared me to other 5'3", 28-year-old women. I was "far below average." I would have to lose 38 pounds and weigh 104 to be above average like Wendy (so humbly) pointed out she is. I'm pretty sure in 4th grade I weighed more than 104. Wendy went on to measure me with some pincher thing and mentioned I had quite a few extra "inches" in my chest area. I chuckled and told her the whole shrinking boobs after breastfeeding story was a myth for me. She didn't find me very humorous. Next I had to do a step-test in a skirt. Still trying to get this non-human woman to have a little fun, I asked her where she grew up. "I went to Northwest," she grunted. That's where I went too! Finally something we can agree on. She asked me if I played sports. I told her about my 4 years on the C-team of Cross Country and Track. Grunts. This All-American Volleyball, Basketball, and Track star was not impressed that my parents live next door to Coach Rose now.
Then Wendy and I sat down for a little talk. She asked me why I am in the "far below average" category. When I gave her my sob story about how I felt like hell during pregnancy, only ate Speghetti-O's and cookie cake for 9 months, gained 55 lbs, didn't workout at all, and then had a 4th degree tear during delivery and couldn't exercise for 6 months postpartum she smirked and told me I was at risk for diabetes and heart problems. She stated with people like me who don't seem to value a healthy body it's best to try to scare them into getting to work. I was scared. Scared of this freaky man-woman. Then we walked around for a minute while she showed me how to do a bicep curl and told me not to press "Quick Start" on the treadmill.
Wendy's recommendation for me was to workout 2 hours a day, eat 1200 calories or less of lean protein and complex carbs, and drink more water. Oh and she wants me to come back for 4 more training sessions and pay her $250. Have a nice life, Wendall, I mean Wendy. I'm going to continue to do what I can with the body composition I was born with and not worry about weighing 104. Oh and just so you know, I ate 2 oreos just now, hoe.
4 comments:
What a horrible sounding trainer person! You've been and are an incredibly fit and active person with a 'LIFE' that involves much more then the singular aspiration to look like an insect-stick person...
I'm trusting the counselor side of you is getting clear read that this lady is not balanced, nor understands the meaning of quality of life beyond the physical dimension. What a freak! I can't imagine she would draw many clients back if she charged $2.50 an hour, let alone $250!! Physical health is good, but nothing is good if you have to be a crazy control freak in order to accomplish it. Remind me to tell you my "fat" story when we get to KC - it'll make you smile.
LOL. I've soooooo been there. Somehow the trainers always seem to equate losing weight with spending money on them. Funny how that works.
A - I consider you one of the more health concientious (sp??) friends I have. This gal made Jillian look like a cookie baking grandma (off of Biggest Loser - I am losing weight vicariously through others right now - it's a great system :) ) Maybe you could go into personal training and advertise that you are for real people - sounds like there's a need for it! I say you keep up with what you are doing and try to remember that it takes us a while to make those babies and it will take us at least twice as long to even remember our former selves (if ever - I'm not giving up but I can't expect my what-will-by-then-be 31 year old body to be the same as the body I had before I got married at 24 - the last time I was at a weight my doctor would have considered in the "healthy range") Please don't give up on your inner athlete! You are an athlete regardless of what anyone says!
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