She Was Almost Back.

I had a big scare this morning when I woke up and puked all over the shower. Even though logically I knew pregnancy was not possible (I had a period 2 weeks ago, we use dual protection, and we haven't exactly put too many cookies in the cookie jar since starting school), my mind still went straight to the thought. Thinking about being pregnant again brought a large range of emotions for me. Part of me was excited at the possibility of holding a tiny baby again and watching he or she grow as Thomas has this year. The other part of me was thinking the following thoughts:

"Ok now I officially remember what I felt like every day of my early pregnancy except since I never actually puked (just felt sick all the time) I never got the feeling of relief after it happened."

"I really want Jolly Ranchers to "settle" my stomach. Wait sugar is why you gained so much weight the first time."

"How would I ever take care of myself AND a very busy 14 month-old?"

"SH*&! I still have at least 3 pounds to lose before getting really fat again!"

"I'm going to look like a lard in Callie's wedding just like I did in Julie's!"

And finally, "David is going to FREAK out because if we deliver a baby before January 1, 2009 our insurance won't cover it."

So, while I know women have babies closer than 2 years apart all the time, I was grateful today when I puked for the second time all over the bathroom floor at my school and came down with a fever. I've never considered the stomach flu a blessing. I know now I'm not quite ready to go back to the dark side.