School.

I haven't been very clear with most people about what I am doing back in school. I changed my mind so many times about what I was going to do to keep my career moving forward after I had Thomas. I wanted to make sure this stuck before explaining again. I think the lack of confidence and indecision are the two main ways I struggled with postpartum depression. It's fun to see those two things falling back into place. (By the way, would you e-mail me if you struggled with postpartum depression? I studied it in school but only now can look back and see the effects for me personally. I'm curious how it has effected other women. Mine didn't start until 6 months post-delivery and continued until about 12-13 months).

Anyway what I am doing in school is getting my teaching license. I was an Elementary Ed. major for 1 year in college and am now finishing that up. I want this degree because if I teach for two years I can then apply for school counseling jobs in any state. And I've decided after much deliberation, research, and observation that school counseling is the right fit for me. So, I'm hoping to teach 3-6 grade for the last 2 years that David is in school. We'll see if that works out. He wants to be a Stay-At-Home Dad and finish school part-time. I have three more very part-time, easy semesters and then will student teach (in a paid position!) in the Spring of 2010. I love having direction and knowing I am called to help young people in a structured environment like an Elementary School in addition to raising a happy son. Schools are where societal change happens. While this is my plan, and it feels awesome to have one, I'm also holding it loosely. I know more babies and unexpected things are also in our future. Plus, student teaching will help me know for sure whether I'll be ready to go back to work full-time. Maybe I will wait until my kid (s) are older before doing that. We'll see...

How have you all balanced work and kids? What do you do outside the home to pursue your passions and dreams? This process has helped me appreciate David so much. While we are definitely aware that he will be the primary breadwinner, he wants to see me succeed too. Do you all think it is important for children to see their mothers accomplish things in a work environment? I was told recently that by having anything other than Thomas to focus on that I am sending him the message that he isn't good enough for me to be with full-time. I don't know about this. He is a pretty confident little guy and knows I adore him even though he stays with my mom on T/R mornings so I can go to class. What do you other women think?

Pure Joy.

Tommy Sam and I flew a kite this morning before some storms rolled in. With no trees, no cars, and just enough wind in the air, our driveway was the perfect place for this adventure. Tom shrieked in delight when the kite went up saying, "Wow, Wow, WOW!" Then when it crashed abruptly he cried out with a passionate, "Ut Oooh." When he got to hold the string his whole body lit up with joy. What a sweet little boy I have. Now if the two of us could just figure out how to not crash the kite into neighbors' houses... :)

Book Reviews

I've been enjoying two non-fiction books lately. The first one is called "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh. You may have seen him on Oprah. This book gives very practical ideas for de-cluttering. A few of my favorites include: 1. Turn all the clothes in your closet facing backwards on a hanger. When you wear something turn it around when you put it back. Anything that is still facing backwards after a few months needs to be given away. 2. Once you get your house where you want it to be, everything that comes in the door must be traded for something going out. I bought new shoes last week, so I put a pair in the give-away pile. 3. Put all kitchen appliances in a big box in the middle of the kitchen. When you use something, put it away in a cabinet. At the end of a few weeks anything left in the box you don't really need.
I have used many of these ideas (not legalistically) and am proud to say that my house now has very little clutter. I can clean up any room in 5 minutes and have spent less time looking for lost things. Getting dressed and doing my hair are much easier because I only have products and clothes to choose that I actually use. I did keep anything with sentimental value or "a few times a year" items like entertaining platters or formal dresses, but the day-to-day is clutter free!

The second book is a little devotional David's parents gave us. It is written in the first person as if Jesus is speaking directly to you. This perspective has helped me connect with God more in the few minutes I make per day to actually sit down and read something/pray/journal. Here's an excerpt from yesterday's writing:
"I am both a God of intricate detail and overflowing abundance. When you entrust the details of your life to me, you are surprised by how throughly I answer your petitions. I take pleasure in hearing your prayers, so feel free to bring me all your requests. The more you pray, the more answers you can receive. Best of all, your faith is strengthened as you see how precisely I respond to your specific prayers."

Make an Andrew

This is my friend Allison's little guy, Andrew. He is the youngest of 3 boys and has a 100% chill personality. He will even lay his head down on your chest while you hold him. After David got to hang out with him all morning he kept saying, "Let's make an Andrew." I keep trying to remind him that most babies are not like Andrew and there is the whole getting fat and loss of sleep factor. Andrew, I love you, but I'm not quite ready for a little guy like you at our house. Thanks for being nice to your mommy and daddy by being laid back, though.

Wedding Photos

I was going to post some wedding photos that I took with my own camera, but the photographer's blog is so much better. Here's the link for a few of Callie's wedding shots: after you look at them you will see why I a. want to lose a few more pounds, b. have a hard time with the money thing/Lisenbys, c. loved being pampered all week. Enjoy!
www.michaelcarrphotography.com Click blog and scroll down to Garrett and Callie.

More St. Patty's

This is Sullivan, son of our newer friends Anne and Dan. He looks like a grumpy old Irish man. Love that face! Sully's older brothers are Beckett and Teague on the scooters.
Elliot is Thomas' friend from music. She is currently in denial that the baby in her mommy's belly is a boy. She claims she is having a little sister that wears pink.
Findlay and Aiden are also music friends and neighbors. They won the best decor award. Findlay enjoys marching on her tip-toes and making silly faces.

St. Patrick's Parade Revival

Today we re-started the annual Dreher tradition of a St. Patrick's Day Parade. It was pretty cold, so we went up and down the block and then inside to play. We had traditional Irish music, decorated wagons, and party horns. I think David and I had more fun than the kids.
Thomas rode in the wagon with Andrew Cloud, the youngest of the Cloud Clan. He kept stealing Andrew's toy and throwing it out of the wagon.

Hadley is 5. Her mommy and aunt were the grand marshals of the original parades when we were kids. Look at those teeth! Hadley twirled her baton just like her mommy did.


Sydney is a music and park friend. She has the most beautiful hair and is very polite. She brought her special green frog that used to play music until the dog "kicked it."
Piper lives across the street from us and is just a few weeks younger than Thomas. Her uncle is a Nascar driver!

Callie's Wedding

We are still in Houston for Callie's wedding. It was a beautiful affair complete with a string quartet, security guards to protect George and Barbara Bush, and a bridesmaid dress that cost more than my wedding gown- by double. David and I both agreed that being rich and important is kind of like getting high. It's really fun for a few hours but leaves you feeling empty and lonely. We are excited to get to know Garrett and enjoyed spending time with his low-key family. We also had fun watching Tommy dance with Mia Grace, his date for the evening. Many pictures to come...

Going Green

We've been getting ready for St. Patrick's Day at our house. We are having a parade on the 22nd for all of Tommy's friends. They are going to decorate their bikes, big wheels, strollers, and wagons and spread Irish Luck around the neighborhood. This tradition was started by my parents in the late 1980's. We'll be the McLisenbys for the day.

And speaking of green, I've been trying to make some small changes to help the environment lately. I have always felt overwhelmed by the idea of caring for the planet and other than recycling pop cans and plastic haven't done anything. I believe we all play a part in the earth's deterioration and need to do what we can to help. David and I both bought re-useable shopping bags and we have switched to cloth napkins. We recycle everything now, including paper, at the bin near our house. The last thing I want to do is slowly switch cleaning supplies and laundry detergents to ecco-friendly products. Has anyone done this? I'm hoping it will also help with Thomas' asthma. Any other simple ideas?

Olive Oil and Handmade Cards

My brother and I have teamed up recently. He needs creative gifts to give to clients, and I need to make money during nap time. It's the perfect arrangement. For sales assistants I have done a gift bag with handmade cards, organic granola, and dark chocolate. In case you didn't know, Kansas City is the headquarters for Hallmark Cards. Thomas and I had a fun trip to the distribution center to pick out the ones we wanted in the bags. The brokers (my brother works for John Hancock) get a bottle of Olive Oil. I ordered this from David's cousin, Kimberly and her husband Adam. I'm not a big cook and don't have keen taste buds (except for junk food), but this oil is awesome. They own a vineyard in California. Let me know if you want to buy some b/c I have a few extra bottles.

A Few More...

Here are a few more pictures with my new camera. I'm getting a little better and starting to figure out all the settings. I can't wait to take my photo class in the Fall. Photography...another way to create in the suburbs.

On this one I cropped left and zoomed in a little from the original below.

For whatever reason I just love this face. He does this serious look whenever he is concentrating. Notice the drool. And my sepia setting!

New Camera!

So, this is one of the more fun things that has ever happened to me. I've been saving up for a new, really good camera. I'm over the "Mommy Cameras" everyone has. I wanted something that would simply take better pictures and give me room to grow (a lot of room) in my photography skills. I went to Costco yesterday with $220 worth of gift cards and $400 cash. I was sweatin'. I haven't bought anything so expensive for a long time. Definitely not since David started school and Frugal Fiona emerged. But, I had slowly put $20 here and there in a camera envelope and had hit my mark. Another good test for me is wanting something more than 3 months. For example, just in case you were wondering I no longer want a glider for Tommy's room or a minivan. Fleeting desires. So, to wrap this up I went to Costco and they had an $850 camera on sale for $650. I got an extra lens and a carrying bag not to mention a better camera. I was so grateful that I actually took this process slowly. Here's to anti-impulsiveness- a new thing for me!

5 Years...

Last Friday night David and I celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary. We are relieved to have this much time under our belts and look forward to the growth and celebrations that will happen in the next 5 years. There is a certain peace we both have now, knowing that David is the exact right man for me, and I am the exact right woman for him. It took 2-3 years to get that part down. Now we can move on to easier tweaking, like how to fight fairly, how to know each other, and how to truly love the other person in the ways they need to be loved. For those of you that haven't known us through the 5 years we've been together our road has not been very easy. In fact, I'm still pretty surprised we made it 3 years. A friend of mine recently described her first 2 years of marriage as "Bliss." Our description? "Hell." But even with that I am more convinced than ever that God put us together to refine us both and to show us His love. I am WAY more in love with my husband today than I was on our wedding day. We can now look at each other and confidently say, "We have a good marriage. I'm glad I married you."

Here are a few things we are currently working on:

1. Not going to our shutdown modes when we get angry. My mode is to get more angry. David's is to fall silent. (Which makes me more angry). I have really worked for 2 years or so about my upper limit of anger and not going beyond it.

2. Re-Defining our beliefs in God/Christianity. Our beliefs have changed a ton since we met in the ultra-evangelical, conservative, black and white world of Wilderness Ranch. We are editing through and trying to keep the good but toss out the bad.

3. David needs to be loved through doing things together. I need to be loved through connecting on an emotional level. SO, I need to go for more runs with him, but he is trying to sit down and talk with me. The perfect combo for us? A walk with a talk.

4. More cultural dates---also a New Year's Resolution for me. We want to be out of our bubble as often as we can. Right now we are committing to at least once a month leaving our suburb. We go to the art museum, to Chicago, to an authentic restaurant, to a cultural movie, to a festival, etc.

5. Separating from our families of origin. I know, I know, it seems like we should be over this by now, but especially with David's family it has been really difficult to break away in healthy ways and become our own unit. My family tends to push us out of the nest (in a good way). David's family would love it if we lived in the same nest as they do, had the same faith and political views they do, dressed the same way they do, and really valued money like they do. Now you can see why it's been a little tricky. And no, none of them read this blog. Don't worry. My big challenge has been how to honor them but be my own person. David's challenge is a lot more complicated than that.

I'd love to hear about your marriages either via comments or e-mail. It is always so encouraging to me to talk directly about what other couples are working on. Here's to 5 more years!

Happy Valentine's Day!

A Sneak Peak of The Lisenby Valentine's Day...

Make Valentines for all Thomas' friends using construction paper, ribbon, stickers, and pictures he likes...
Deliver the Valentines to his friends and blow them kisses.
Set the table for the week with a red table runner and heart plates received as wedding gifts.
Buy Tommy a book about trucks, a Hot Wheels car, and new stickers from Target to put on his plate.
Buy David a new game, really good chocolates, and write to him on a handmade card.
Have fajitas ready for dinner.
Call everyone I love and tell them so.

Total Cost= $20.00
Celebrating a fun holiday with the 2 boys I love most=priceless.

Resolution Update

Sorry for the lack of pictures lately. Our camera is broken, which means I am obviously lobbying for a new Cannon camera I've wanted for several months. We are thinking about using some American Express points to get it. I would be SO excited!

Here's how each of these resolutions is going:

1. Be less judgmental about how other people spend money, especially extremely wealthy people.
-We've had a run-in recently about what my MIL wants Thomas to wear to my SIL's wedding. The outfit total? $200. For a
16 month old to wear for MAYBE 3 hours. BUT other than this little rant I've kept my mouth shut and decided this particular
battle is not worth it.

2. Get up every week day by 6:30am.
-Surprisingly, this is going well. I'm exercising 3 mornings a week at 5:30, so I get up at 5am on those days and 6:30 on the
others. I think too much sleep is a total sign of depression and not feeling well for me, but I also get so GRUMPY without
enough.

3. Choose not to feel guilty about adding the career piece of myself back into my life.
-When Thomas was diagnosed with RAD I thought about dropping all my classes to be home with him, but I knew that
would not be good for me. Instead I dropped 2 and kept 3. I've really enjoyed my adult time on T/R mornings.

4. Go on more cultural dates with my husband.
-We had a great time in Chicago, especially going to the Museum of Art and to see Wicked. It's also been fun to get out of
our neighborhood and go visit my brother at his new house downtown. We had a fun time at his Super Bowl party. We
went to see 'The Kite Runner' and had a good discussion following as well.

5. Take pictures that help me create a story through writing.
-Again no camera, but I have done some creative things lately including designing gifts, rearranging furniture, and writing.

6. When I have the choice, make the more simple decision 60% of the time.
-This is the only resolution I am currently struggling with quite a bit. There are so many material things I want right now...a
new camera, a glider for Tommy's room, a fully loaded Honda Oddesey Mini-Van, hot jewelry and clothes to wear to Callie's rehearsal dinner, a tummy tuck, house cleaning, etc. I know making the simple decision is not just about buying things, but I get in periods like this one where I just want, want, want. I'm trying not to go through the Starbucks drive- through by our house and eat out, but I did buy Thomas new clothes and toys this weekend he doesn't really need. I don't really know how to measure this one. How do you keep things simple? I just know I'm not in a good place with this right now. I'm not going to buy any of those things except MAYBE the camera and some jewelry, but how do I move beyond wanting so much? Help!

I'm going to try to do a resolution update every month or so mostly to hold myself accountable to really working on these things. Did you have any resolutions? How are they going 6 weeks in?

Boo to the Breathing Treatments!

I talked to the Dr. after wrestling my son to the ground in the middle of Target yesterday. Thomas found this train in the toy isle and wouldn't let me put it back. We wiggled out of his TIGHT cart strap to grab it off the shelf when I answered the cell phone. Sneaky little guy. After what seemed like an hour of tears and screaming, I let him keep it until we got to the front to check out. By then he threw it on the floor seemingly telling me something such as, "This toy sucks now, Mom! I want to GO HOME!" It turns out the steroid in the breathing treatments is causing most of this behavior. Would have been good to know when we were prescribed the treatments 2 weeks ago. Grrr.

On another note, my friend Anne introduced me recently to mindfulness and meditation CDs. I've listened to a segment each night before bed and LOVE IT. I love the idea of being present in the moment as it happens. This very idea has helped me so much to enjoy my moments with Thomas. Each smile, each hug, each moment to play. Learning to be mindful has also reminded me that I have a choice over my thoughts. They can be positive and spin toward a good place, or they can be negative and spin quickly to a bad place. By the way, has anyone ever read the book "The Secret?" I'm reading it for book club right now. I agree with some parts and fairly sharply disagree with others. Book Report to come.

New Year's Resolution Update also to come. For Lent this year I gave up staying up late. So far so good.