Book Review

David heard about this book on NPR and gave it to me for Mother's Day. It is a compilation of essays from different journalists who have either chosen to work, stay-home, or something in-between. I liked the book immediately as it provides an educated angle to what I've been battling with for the past few years. To work or stay home? To work part-time or full-time? To stay home and then go back to work? This book gives insight into all those questions. The biggest thing I learned is that every woman and family has a different system that works for them. I personally want to work and am getting the certification I need to do so. I also value staying home. Many of my friends want to stay home full-time. I didn't realize this was such a hot topic until I read the reviews on the book when I was done reading it. Women are so caddy!

Headed West...

Yesterday we did our annual early summer pilgrimage to Colorado. For the past 12 years I have journeyed to the mountains in either May or June for various jobs and vacations. This year will will enjoy 2 weeks now and 2 weeks in August of hiking, reading, shopping, reflecting, and adventures. We have Internet here now, so feel free to e-mail me.

It Happened Today.

I was out to dinner at Chili's (my fav) with Thomas. David was working late, and we were killing time before music class sharing our mutual love of carbohydrates. I was wearing a sleeveless shirt (my first of the season); Thomas was wearing his train engineer hat and his "Mommy Digs Me" shirt. The waiter sat us down in a 2-man booth. Thomas was in his highchair to my right. Both of us were happily tanking up on chips and salsa when the catastrophe occurred. Thomas began to choke a little bit on a chip. He was coughing it up, and I did the typical mom thing. I reached over to pat his back until it came up. That is when I noticed it. Surely it couldn't be happening to me. As I was patting Tommy's back the bottom of my arms jiggled. And not just a little jiggle. A lot of jiggle. BAT WING JIGGLE. Yes. It is official. Today I became aware that I have bat wing arms.

I've always known about my unfortunate arm composition, however I thought what I lacked in thinness I could make up for in muscle. For years I've lifted weights to "sculpt" my upper body. Yet unfortunately it appears that even with all this work genetics have won. And you know what? I'm ready to embrace the bats. My great-grandmother Mae, who I have inherited most of my gene pool from, had bats. I remember crawling up on her wheelchair on the 4th of July and watching her arms swoosh and swash a little too close to my face. She always felt so cuddly. I felt safe tucked in beneath her squishy, large wings. These snuggle sessions occurred before I was banned from her lap for pulling her hair to see if it was a wig. My older cousin promised me a whole sheet of fuzzy feet stickers if I would check. It wasn't a wig. She had real hair, and I brought Jeff down with me when I was sent to time-out for an HOUR after my curious escapade.

And so, while some may take my observation as a kick-start to do 1000 push-ups a day, I am not going to change a thing. My husband, as you can see from the picture, digs bats both as animals and as loose skin. And when my child, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren crawl into my lap they too will feel the warm embrace of wings enveloping them.

(Title of this post in honor of Michele)

New Years Resolution Update

Thomas and I have been busy during the week going to the park. We've gone almost every day this week to a different park, and he loves it. I love being outside. Not much else is going on right now. We are waiting for David to finish up finals so we can head to the cabin for 2 weeks! Then we will be home for June and July and go back out there in August. I can't wait to smell mountain air and see my CO friends!

Here's the New Years Update 6 months in:

1. Be less judgmental about how other people spend money, especially extremely wealthy people.
Callie's wedding was a big gauge for me in this. I'm starting to realize that everyone has something they spend money on.
For some, it is travel. For my dad it is golf clubs. Home decorating, cars, school, and toys also might be options. So
basically God gave us all the money we have and we get to choose how we spend it. Just because I choose differently than
others doesn't mean I'm bad or they are bad. It's just different. I still have some work to do about my first response to not
be judgment, and I also have some work to do in giving my own money away more often and promoting justice in my own
community. I still don't know how to not judge those of us who have A LOT and don't give much away. Maybe it's just me,
but the wealthiest people in my life are the least generous. That is where I get stuck. Thoughts? I'd love to engage on this
topic.

2. Get up every week day by 6:30am.
I had a slump for a month or so when I was sleeping until Thomas woke me up, but I think I am out of that now. I like
going to the gym a few mornings a week at 5:30, so I've been trying to make that happen. I'm also realizing that I can
function pretty well on 6-7 hours of sleep instead of 8-9. That has been a mental shift for me, the girl who loves to sleep.

3. Choose not to feel guilty about adding the career piece of myself back into my life.
Classes this semester are done, and this Spring has been the best season as a mother yet. While I've loved having
something for myself, I've also realized somewhere along the way that I do not want to go back to work full-time.

4. Go on more cultural dates with my husband.
Bad here. I can't think of any interesting things we have done for the past few months. I've enjoyed my book club lately
and am excited to start reading 'The Artist's Way' this summer with a group of creative women. Hopefully David and I can
get out of suburbia together several times this summer.

5. Take pictures that help me create a story through writing.
I haven't taken that many pictures lately, but I'm kind of holding out for my friend's photography class in August. One
creative project I have been working on is a journal for Thomas. Every couple of days I write something he did or thoughts
I have. I hope to continue it throughout his childhood and give it to him when becomes an adult. David and I want to
climb a peak with him the summer after he graduates and bless him as a man. I'll probably give it to him then.

6. When I have the choice, make the more simple decision 60% of the time.
I've decided this one goes hand in hand with my confidence levels. When I am confident about the direction we want our
family to go, it is easy for me to make simple, good decisions. When I start wavering or people pleasing, I don't think
through whether a decision fits our values and desire for simplicity well.

My fruit of the spirit that I am going to focus on/read about/try to live out this year is faithfulness.
I'm still struggling here. I just don't know what this looks like as well with my role as a mom. Reading my bible, being in a
study or a MOPS group, joining our new church???

KU Victory Parade

Book Reviews

I've read two excellent books lately.

1. A Thousand Splendid Suns
This one is going on my top-10 list for sure. I liked it even better than 'The Kite Runner' because it was the story of two women. I LOVED this book. By far one of my best reads of all-time. That is all I'm going to say because you need to read it yourself.

2. Baby-Proofing Your Marriage
I really wish I would have read this book and others like it after Thomas was born. It normalized a ton of what David and I went through in those early months. Probably the best tip the authors gave was to take a time-out in your relationship from the weeks before the baby comes to the time the kid sleeps through the night. Man, I wish we would have had this perspective. It would have solved all those late night fights about nothing but the fact that we were both exhausted.

It's Time to Confess...

I don't think I am a baby person. Babies are sweet and smell good, but I LOVE the stage little Tommy is in right now. He is 17.5 months and can run and play and does TONS of signs. He brings me toys and asks for help with them. He is interested in new people or things he has never seen before. Everything is such an exciting adventure. This morning we went to the garden nursery and bought some flowers for our pots. He pointed at each type of flower and did the sign for flower...two sniffs. When I let him carry one of the flowers to the car, he smiled and signed, "Thank you, Mommy." Then we went through the drive-through at Starbucks, and from his car-seat he kept telling the man at the window, "Momma. Drink." (Yes we go through this drive-through a lot, but I have to have something to replace my diet pop addiction I'm trying to kick). Next up was the library, where the librarian helped us find a book about elephants and one about gorillas. Tommy and David went to the zoo in Oklahoma City last weekend, and those were his two favorite animals. He wouldn't let the books go when it was time to check-out until he showed the lady the signs for both animals. Lastly, on the way home we saw a train. Instead of Choo Choo, Tommy says CAW CAW!! Oh how I love my little bugaboo. These are pictures from the last month or so. I couldn't find my camera cord for awhile.

DaaDaDaaDa DaaDaDaaDa

I observed a 3rd grade class the other day. The kids were working on similes. I always liked similes.
Here are some that pertain to my current life:

1. Elmo is as cool to Thomas as a movie star.
2. Ryan Gosling is as hot as fire.
3. When we see the stuffed Elmo at the library Thomas is like a drooling, love-sick puppy.
4. If Ryan Gosling ever came to my house to make-out with me, I would melt like butter.

That's right. Elmo and Ryan G. are the kings in this house. Oh and David you are hot and super-cool too. (Don't worry, David has given me full permission to make-out with Ryan with no aftermath if he ever comes to our house). But here's a question for you: What is it about Elmo that makes him the main attraction of Sesame Street? I mean, I truly think if Thomas ever got to touch the actual Elmo he would be like the girl in my dad's high school class who touched one of the Beatles and didn't wash her hand again until it turned black and was getting infected.

Inner Athlete Squashed

I had my free personal training session today at the new gym we joined. I sensed it was going to be bad when the trainer left the following message on my answering machine: "Adrienne, Hi how ARE you. This is Wendy from the gym. I'd love to meet with you this week to talk about getting some of this weight I'm seeing on your chart off. Can you come in tomorrow at 6am?"

Uh no. I'm not coming to the gym at 6am to have my ass kicked by this 5'8"-solid muscled-no ounce of fat-drill Sargent. So we made an appointment for 11:30am. Much more my style.

When I joined the gym I was about 10lbs. heavier than I thought I would be. I put the scale away last month because I was getting a little obsessed. I had weighed in for the gym at the end of the day with my clothes on, so according to my previous Weight Watchers friends I was asking for it. But considering all my previous work to lose 30lbs. this year I truly thought I was ready to run with the big dogs. (see my previous post). I know I still have some weight to get off in order to be in peak condition, but I've been feeling great lately, not eating as much crap, and working out 5 days a week.

Enter Wendy. My worst nightmare. When God dealt out empathy she didn't get any. First she showed me some chart that compared me to other 5'3", 28-year-old women. I was "far below average." I would have to lose 38 pounds and weigh 104 to be above average like Wendy (so humbly) pointed out she is. I'm pretty sure in 4th grade I weighed more than 104. Wendy went on to measure me with some pincher thing and mentioned I had quite a few extra "inches" in my chest area. I chuckled and told her the whole shrinking boobs after breastfeeding story was a myth for me. She didn't find me very humorous. Next I had to do a step-test in a skirt. Still trying to get this non-human woman to have a little fun, I asked her where she grew up. "I went to Northwest," she grunted. That's where I went too! Finally something we can agree on. She asked me if I played sports. I told her about my 4 years on the C-team of Cross Country and Track. Grunts. This All-American Volleyball, Basketball, and Track star was not impressed that my parents live next door to Coach Rose now.

Then Wendy and I sat down for a little talk. She asked me why I am in the "far below average" category. When I gave her my sob story about how I felt like hell during pregnancy, only ate Speghetti-O's and cookie cake for 9 months, gained 55 lbs, didn't workout at all, and then had a 4th degree tear during delivery and couldn't exercise for 6 months postpartum she smirked and told me I was at risk for diabetes and heart problems. She stated with people like me who don't seem to value a healthy body it's best to try to scare them into getting to work. I was scared. Scared of this freaky man-woman. Then we walked around for a minute while she showed me how to do a bicep curl and told me not to press "Quick Start" on the treadmill.

Wendy's recommendation for me was to workout 2 hours a day, eat 1200 calories or less of lean protein and complex carbs, and drink more water. Oh and she wants me to come back for 4 more training sessions and pay her $250. Have a nice life, Wendall, I mean Wendy. I'm going to continue to do what I can with the body composition I was born with and not worry about weighing 104. Oh and just so you know, I ate 2 oreos just now, hoe.

CHALMERS THREEEEEEE!

We went to the KU Victory Parade yesterday in Lawrence. Crowds swarmed the players like they were movie stars as they rode by in convertibles. It was crazy. Tommy LOVED it. He thought the whole parade was just for him and clapped the entire time.

I've been trying to think about what would be the equivalent of hitting a last minute 3-point shot to win the National Championship of College Basketball in my life. Mario Chalmers had to feel absolutely exhiliterated. I'm sure he will NEVER get tired of watching the replay of those few moments. For me I thought about completing a marathon. Like Chalmers, it was something I worked really hard for, but for some reason it didn't feel quite right. Then I thought about giving birth. Glorious, but still didn't fit. Being a Wilderness Guide for three summers? There were definitely a few moments on the trail that brought "glorious and inexpressible joy," but no.

Side note: I watched the video of Tommy's 1st Birthday Party randomly today. I couldn't believe it was me on tape. There I was, a beautiful wavy haired, MOM. I was so happy that day. So present. The tape shows me as a confident in the moment woman. I wasn't getting side-tracked by my stupid in-laws or the 10lbs. I still had to lose. I could have watched myself again and again.

Back to Mario. This morning it hit me that the equivelient of hitting a 3-point shot to win it all for me is being present in each moment and content with my circumstances. When I got up and was able to recognize how fortunate I am to have a loving husband, a beautiful son, an amazing house, great family, a good brain, a working body, etc. it helped me to take advantage of each moment today. Pushing Tommy in his swing and soaking in what he looks like right now and how happy he is to be outside...LISENBY THREE! Realizing I'll never get the moment back that David walked in the door this afternoon and giving him a huge kiss...LISENBY THREE! I could go on and on, but staying present and content...that is my big shot.

Some Things I Did Today

My pal from college has been posting on her blog a list of 100 things she wants to do before she goes. I thought about doing the same, but lists of many things that don't end up getting done make me feel guilty. Plus, who knows how life is going to unfold. I could have never put on a list 5 years ago, "Decorate a suburb house," but that is what I've spent some time doing this year. In the spirit of being mindful and present, here are a few things I've done today:

1. Watched Alec Baldwin on Sesame Street
2. Made a note for Tommy's Texas grandparents by helping him put on stickers and put it in the mailbox
3. Folded clothes with Tommy and had a sock-ball war
4. Read "Where's Spot?" 3 times out of order
5. Sat still on the couch while my son lifted up my shirt to see my button at least 100 times.
6. Laughed at an 17-month-old who still wants to sit in his take-along swing to watch Barney
7. Talked to two friends on the phone
8. Blew my nose about once every 10 minutes from a sinus infection
9. Had my hair pulled. Hard.
10. Received 4-5 kisses with the top of a head.

Kansans Unite!

If you are not from Kansas you may not understand this post. People here are CRAZY about their sports teams. I mean nuts. I haven't noticed this kind of support in the other cities where I've lived. I LOVE sports, especially basketball. I couldn't be more excited that the Kansas Jayhawks are in the Championship Game tomorrow night. I've watched them all season long and can very vividly remember when they won it all in 1988. Danny Manning and Larry Brown were my idols. In the 1990's I had posters in my room of Jarred Haas and Jacque Vaughn. My whole life I've cheered for the Hawks...even when I transferred to K-State.

I know going to Kansas for one year and then transferring to KSU for 2.5 years is a unique situation, but come on Wildcats. Why can't you be happy that a school in your state is winning? I get the rivalry, but I know my dad would cheer for Missouri in the National Championship Game even though he hates them. It looks good for the Big 12 Conference if someone represents. Some of my friends here have recently crossed the line of fun. Especially Wildcats that say they won't cheer for KU Monday night or Jayhawks that would Boo Roy Williams. Roy was like a distant father to me, and he has the right to change his mind about where home is for him (even though he didn't do it perfectly). I love KU basketball. I love the town of Manhattan, KS. I know I am a rare bird (cat?), but maybe a little neutrality and love for my whole state is not such a bad thing. Pull yourselves together, Kansans, and let's all root for KU tomorrow night at 8pm.

Holy Cow.

Did anyone know that a Chipotle burrito with NO sour cream or guacamole has 1,000 calories? Crap.

Inner Athlete Unleashed

I've spent so much time trying to get baby weight on and then off the past two years that I forgot I am an athlete. I joined a gym last month that unleashed my athlete-self again. One day last week I worked out so hard I almost threw up. It's been a LONG time. And it felt awesome. Where did athlete Adrienne go?

There is no better feeling than pushing my body almost over the edge. I've been running again, doing cardio on the stair master or elliptical machines and lifting weights. And not wimpy girl weights. Strong woman weights. My goal is to continue to tone up and slim down over the next few months. It is almost like when I became pregnant I forgot that I ran 2 marathons, was a backpacking guide, and even was the second best female runner in camp for 2 summers. I was strong. And fast. And I'm starting to see that again. I love to sweat, and I need to call myself an athlete to make sweating a priority in my life.

Now that working out has become consistent for 6 straight months, it's time to work on the eating again. I can only do one thing at a time. I'm really going to give myself grace here though and cut out the bad stuff slowly and not altogether. Thomas is starting to notice what I eat and wants what is on my plate. This fact has made me more aware that if I wouldn't feed it to my baby it's probably not best for me either. A good example is cookie cake for breakfast. A note to self: If your son is signing for a cookie at 8am because he sees one on your plate you are probably not modeling well.

Oh and the great thing about this gym is that a bunch of 'real' athletes go there. So that means their kids are in the playroom. So Thomas gets to learn from tall kids. The other day he made friends with Garrison. Garrison's dad was in the NBA for awhile. I've found myself already wanting my son to succeed in athletics but deep down know his only chance is to be quick and coordinated. He's just not going to be very big. But like his momma he has a big heart and a lot of determination. He did knock a kid down when hunting for Easter Eggs recently, and Garrison taught him how to go head first down the slide. We have a little Rudy in the making.

School.

I haven't been very clear with most people about what I am doing back in school. I changed my mind so many times about what I was going to do to keep my career moving forward after I had Thomas. I wanted to make sure this stuck before explaining again. I think the lack of confidence and indecision are the two main ways I struggled with postpartum depression. It's fun to see those two things falling back into place. (By the way, would you e-mail me if you struggled with postpartum depression? I studied it in school but only now can look back and see the effects for me personally. I'm curious how it has effected other women. Mine didn't start until 6 months post-delivery and continued until about 12-13 months).

Anyway what I am doing in school is getting my teaching license. I was an Elementary Ed. major for 1 year in college and am now finishing that up. I want this degree because if I teach for two years I can then apply for school counseling jobs in any state. And I've decided after much deliberation, research, and observation that school counseling is the right fit for me. So, I'm hoping to teach 3-6 grade for the last 2 years that David is in school. We'll see if that works out. He wants to be a Stay-At-Home Dad and finish school part-time. I have three more very part-time, easy semesters and then will student teach (in a paid position!) in the Spring of 2010. I love having direction and knowing I am called to help young people in a structured environment like an Elementary School in addition to raising a happy son. Schools are where societal change happens. While this is my plan, and it feels awesome to have one, I'm also holding it loosely. I know more babies and unexpected things are also in our future. Plus, student teaching will help me know for sure whether I'll be ready to go back to work full-time. Maybe I will wait until my kid (s) are older before doing that. We'll see...

How have you all balanced work and kids? What do you do outside the home to pursue your passions and dreams? This process has helped me appreciate David so much. While we are definitely aware that he will be the primary breadwinner, he wants to see me succeed too. Do you all think it is important for children to see their mothers accomplish things in a work environment? I was told recently that by having anything other than Thomas to focus on that I am sending him the message that he isn't good enough for me to be with full-time. I don't know about this. He is a pretty confident little guy and knows I adore him even though he stays with my mom on T/R mornings so I can go to class. What do you other women think?

Pure Joy.

Tommy Sam and I flew a kite this morning before some storms rolled in. With no trees, no cars, and just enough wind in the air, our driveway was the perfect place for this adventure. Tom shrieked in delight when the kite went up saying, "Wow, Wow, WOW!" Then when it crashed abruptly he cried out with a passionate, "Ut Oooh." When he got to hold the string his whole body lit up with joy. What a sweet little boy I have. Now if the two of us could just figure out how to not crash the kite into neighbors' houses... :)

Book Reviews

I've been enjoying two non-fiction books lately. The first one is called "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh. You may have seen him on Oprah. This book gives very practical ideas for de-cluttering. A few of my favorites include: 1. Turn all the clothes in your closet facing backwards on a hanger. When you wear something turn it around when you put it back. Anything that is still facing backwards after a few months needs to be given away. 2. Once you get your house where you want it to be, everything that comes in the door must be traded for something going out. I bought new shoes last week, so I put a pair in the give-away pile. 3. Put all kitchen appliances in a big box in the middle of the kitchen. When you use something, put it away in a cabinet. At the end of a few weeks anything left in the box you don't really need.
I have used many of these ideas (not legalistically) and am proud to say that my house now has very little clutter. I can clean up any room in 5 minutes and have spent less time looking for lost things. Getting dressed and doing my hair are much easier because I only have products and clothes to choose that I actually use. I did keep anything with sentimental value or "a few times a year" items like entertaining platters or formal dresses, but the day-to-day is clutter free!

The second book is a little devotional David's parents gave us. It is written in the first person as if Jesus is speaking directly to you. This perspective has helped me connect with God more in the few minutes I make per day to actually sit down and read something/pray/journal. Here's an excerpt from yesterday's writing:
"I am both a God of intricate detail and overflowing abundance. When you entrust the details of your life to me, you are surprised by how throughly I answer your petitions. I take pleasure in hearing your prayers, so feel free to bring me all your requests. The more you pray, the more answers you can receive. Best of all, your faith is strengthened as you see how precisely I respond to your specific prayers."

Make an Andrew

This is my friend Allison's little guy, Andrew. He is the youngest of 3 boys and has a 100% chill personality. He will even lay his head down on your chest while you hold him. After David got to hang out with him all morning he kept saying, "Let's make an Andrew." I keep trying to remind him that most babies are not like Andrew and there is the whole getting fat and loss of sleep factor. Andrew, I love you, but I'm not quite ready for a little guy like you at our house. Thanks for being nice to your mommy and daddy by being laid back, though.

Wedding Photos

I was going to post some wedding photos that I took with my own camera, but the photographer's blog is so much better. Here's the link for a few of Callie's wedding shots: after you look at them you will see why I a. want to lose a few more pounds, b. have a hard time with the money thing/Lisenbys, c. loved being pampered all week. Enjoy!
www.michaelcarrphotography.com Click blog and scroll down to Garrett and Callie.

More St. Patty's

This is Sullivan, son of our newer friends Anne and Dan. He looks like a grumpy old Irish man. Love that face! Sully's older brothers are Beckett and Teague on the scooters.
Elliot is Thomas' friend from music. She is currently in denial that the baby in her mommy's belly is a boy. She claims she is having a little sister that wears pink.
Findlay and Aiden are also music friends and neighbors. They won the best decor award. Findlay enjoys marching on her tip-toes and making silly faces.

St. Patrick's Parade Revival

Today we re-started the annual Dreher tradition of a St. Patrick's Day Parade. It was pretty cold, so we went up and down the block and then inside to play. We had traditional Irish music, decorated wagons, and party horns. I think David and I had more fun than the kids.
Thomas rode in the wagon with Andrew Cloud, the youngest of the Cloud Clan. He kept stealing Andrew's toy and throwing it out of the wagon.

Hadley is 5. Her mommy and aunt were the grand marshals of the original parades when we were kids. Look at those teeth! Hadley twirled her baton just like her mommy did.


Sydney is a music and park friend. She has the most beautiful hair and is very polite. She brought her special green frog that used to play music until the dog "kicked it."
Piper lives across the street from us and is just a few weeks younger than Thomas. Her uncle is a Nascar driver!

Callie's Wedding

We are still in Houston for Callie's wedding. It was a beautiful affair complete with a string quartet, security guards to protect George and Barbara Bush, and a bridesmaid dress that cost more than my wedding gown- by double. David and I both agreed that being rich and important is kind of like getting high. It's really fun for a few hours but leaves you feeling empty and lonely. We are excited to get to know Garrett and enjoyed spending time with his low-key family. We also had fun watching Tommy dance with Mia Grace, his date for the evening. Many pictures to come...

Going Green

We've been getting ready for St. Patrick's Day at our house. We are having a parade on the 22nd for all of Tommy's friends. They are going to decorate their bikes, big wheels, strollers, and wagons and spread Irish Luck around the neighborhood. This tradition was started by my parents in the late 1980's. We'll be the McLisenbys for the day.

And speaking of green, I've been trying to make some small changes to help the environment lately. I have always felt overwhelmed by the idea of caring for the planet and other than recycling pop cans and plastic haven't done anything. I believe we all play a part in the earth's deterioration and need to do what we can to help. David and I both bought re-useable shopping bags and we have switched to cloth napkins. We recycle everything now, including paper, at the bin near our house. The last thing I want to do is slowly switch cleaning supplies and laundry detergents to ecco-friendly products. Has anyone done this? I'm hoping it will also help with Thomas' asthma. Any other simple ideas?

Olive Oil and Handmade Cards

My brother and I have teamed up recently. He needs creative gifts to give to clients, and I need to make money during nap time. It's the perfect arrangement. For sales assistants I have done a gift bag with handmade cards, organic granola, and dark chocolate. In case you didn't know, Kansas City is the headquarters for Hallmark Cards. Thomas and I had a fun trip to the distribution center to pick out the ones we wanted in the bags. The brokers (my brother works for John Hancock) get a bottle of Olive Oil. I ordered this from David's cousin, Kimberly and her husband Adam. I'm not a big cook and don't have keen taste buds (except for junk food), but this oil is awesome. They own a vineyard in California. Let me know if you want to buy some b/c I have a few extra bottles.

A Few More...

Here are a few more pictures with my new camera. I'm getting a little better and starting to figure out all the settings. I can't wait to take my photo class in the Fall. Photography...another way to create in the suburbs.

On this one I cropped left and zoomed in a little from the original below.

For whatever reason I just love this face. He does this serious look whenever he is concentrating. Notice the drool. And my sepia setting!

New Camera!

So, this is one of the more fun things that has ever happened to me. I've been saving up for a new, really good camera. I'm over the "Mommy Cameras" everyone has. I wanted something that would simply take better pictures and give me room to grow (a lot of room) in my photography skills. I went to Costco yesterday with $220 worth of gift cards and $400 cash. I was sweatin'. I haven't bought anything so expensive for a long time. Definitely not since David started school and Frugal Fiona emerged. But, I had slowly put $20 here and there in a camera envelope and had hit my mark. Another good test for me is wanting something more than 3 months. For example, just in case you were wondering I no longer want a glider for Tommy's room or a minivan. Fleeting desires. So, to wrap this up I went to Costco and they had an $850 camera on sale for $650. I got an extra lens and a carrying bag not to mention a better camera. I was so grateful that I actually took this process slowly. Here's to anti-impulsiveness- a new thing for me!

5 Years...

Last Friday night David and I celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary. We are relieved to have this much time under our belts and look forward to the growth and celebrations that will happen in the next 5 years. There is a certain peace we both have now, knowing that David is the exact right man for me, and I am the exact right woman for him. It took 2-3 years to get that part down. Now we can move on to easier tweaking, like how to fight fairly, how to know each other, and how to truly love the other person in the ways they need to be loved. For those of you that haven't known us through the 5 years we've been together our road has not been very easy. In fact, I'm still pretty surprised we made it 3 years. A friend of mine recently described her first 2 years of marriage as "Bliss." Our description? "Hell." But even with that I am more convinced than ever that God put us together to refine us both and to show us His love. I am WAY more in love with my husband today than I was on our wedding day. We can now look at each other and confidently say, "We have a good marriage. I'm glad I married you."

Here are a few things we are currently working on:

1. Not going to our shutdown modes when we get angry. My mode is to get more angry. David's is to fall silent. (Which makes me more angry). I have really worked for 2 years or so about my upper limit of anger and not going beyond it.

2. Re-Defining our beliefs in God/Christianity. Our beliefs have changed a ton since we met in the ultra-evangelical, conservative, black and white world of Wilderness Ranch. We are editing through and trying to keep the good but toss out the bad.

3. David needs to be loved through doing things together. I need to be loved through connecting on an emotional level. SO, I need to go for more runs with him, but he is trying to sit down and talk with me. The perfect combo for us? A walk with a talk.

4. More cultural dates---also a New Year's Resolution for me. We want to be out of our bubble as often as we can. Right now we are committing to at least once a month leaving our suburb. We go to the art museum, to Chicago, to an authentic restaurant, to a cultural movie, to a festival, etc.

5. Separating from our families of origin. I know, I know, it seems like we should be over this by now, but especially with David's family it has been really difficult to break away in healthy ways and become our own unit. My family tends to push us out of the nest (in a good way). David's family would love it if we lived in the same nest as they do, had the same faith and political views they do, dressed the same way they do, and really valued money like they do. Now you can see why it's been a little tricky. And no, none of them read this blog. Don't worry. My big challenge has been how to honor them but be my own person. David's challenge is a lot more complicated than that.

I'd love to hear about your marriages either via comments or e-mail. It is always so encouraging to me to talk directly about what other couples are working on. Here's to 5 more years!

Happy Valentine's Day!

A Sneak Peak of The Lisenby Valentine's Day...

Make Valentines for all Thomas' friends using construction paper, ribbon, stickers, and pictures he likes...
Deliver the Valentines to his friends and blow them kisses.
Set the table for the week with a red table runner and heart plates received as wedding gifts.
Buy Tommy a book about trucks, a Hot Wheels car, and new stickers from Target to put on his plate.
Buy David a new game, really good chocolates, and write to him on a handmade card.
Have fajitas ready for dinner.
Call everyone I love and tell them so.

Total Cost= $20.00
Celebrating a fun holiday with the 2 boys I love most=priceless.

Resolution Update

Sorry for the lack of pictures lately. Our camera is broken, which means I am obviously lobbying for a new Cannon camera I've wanted for several months. We are thinking about using some American Express points to get it. I would be SO excited!

Here's how each of these resolutions is going:

1. Be less judgmental about how other people spend money, especially extremely wealthy people.
-We've had a run-in recently about what my MIL wants Thomas to wear to my SIL's wedding. The outfit total? $200. For a
16 month old to wear for MAYBE 3 hours. BUT other than this little rant I've kept my mouth shut and decided this particular
battle is not worth it.

2. Get up every week day by 6:30am.
-Surprisingly, this is going well. I'm exercising 3 mornings a week at 5:30, so I get up at 5am on those days and 6:30 on the
others. I think too much sleep is a total sign of depression and not feeling well for me, but I also get so GRUMPY without
enough.

3. Choose not to feel guilty about adding the career piece of myself back into my life.
-When Thomas was diagnosed with RAD I thought about dropping all my classes to be home with him, but I knew that
would not be good for me. Instead I dropped 2 and kept 3. I've really enjoyed my adult time on T/R mornings.

4. Go on more cultural dates with my husband.
-We had a great time in Chicago, especially going to the Museum of Art and to see Wicked. It's also been fun to get out of
our neighborhood and go visit my brother at his new house downtown. We had a fun time at his Super Bowl party. We
went to see 'The Kite Runner' and had a good discussion following as well.

5. Take pictures that help me create a story through writing.
-Again no camera, but I have done some creative things lately including designing gifts, rearranging furniture, and writing.

6. When I have the choice, make the more simple decision 60% of the time.
-This is the only resolution I am currently struggling with quite a bit. There are so many material things I want right now...a
new camera, a glider for Tommy's room, a fully loaded Honda Oddesey Mini-Van, hot jewelry and clothes to wear to Callie's rehearsal dinner, a tummy tuck, house cleaning, etc. I know making the simple decision is not just about buying things, but I get in periods like this one where I just want, want, want. I'm trying not to go through the Starbucks drive- through by our house and eat out, but I did buy Thomas new clothes and toys this weekend he doesn't really need. I don't really know how to measure this one. How do you keep things simple? I just know I'm not in a good place with this right now. I'm not going to buy any of those things except MAYBE the camera and some jewelry, but how do I move beyond wanting so much? Help!

I'm going to try to do a resolution update every month or so mostly to hold myself accountable to really working on these things. Did you have any resolutions? How are they going 6 weeks in?

Boo to the Breathing Treatments!

I talked to the Dr. after wrestling my son to the ground in the middle of Target yesterday. Thomas found this train in the toy isle and wouldn't let me put it back. We wiggled out of his TIGHT cart strap to grab it off the shelf when I answered the cell phone. Sneaky little guy. After what seemed like an hour of tears and screaming, I let him keep it until we got to the front to check out. By then he threw it on the floor seemingly telling me something such as, "This toy sucks now, Mom! I want to GO HOME!" It turns out the steroid in the breathing treatments is causing most of this behavior. Would have been good to know when we were prescribed the treatments 2 weeks ago. Grrr.

On another note, my friend Anne introduced me recently to mindfulness and meditation CDs. I've listened to a segment each night before bed and LOVE IT. I love the idea of being present in the moment as it happens. This very idea has helped me so much to enjoy my moments with Thomas. Each smile, each hug, each moment to play. Learning to be mindful has also reminded me that I have a choice over my thoughts. They can be positive and spin toward a good place, or they can be negative and spin quickly to a bad place. By the way, has anyone ever read the book "The Secret?" I'm reading it for book club right now. I agree with some parts and fairly sharply disagree with others. Book Report to come.

New Year's Resolution Update also to come. For Lent this year I gave up staying up late. So far so good.

Terrible Twos Already?

Dear Other Moms and Flip-Flops and Chocolate Members:

Is it possible to start the terrible twos at 15 months? Little Thomas is having huge tantrums lately. I mean like throwing himself down on the floor and pounding his fists and legs kind of tantrums. I can't figure out if it is because he doesn't feel well, isn't eating enough, is tired, or is just starting to assert his independence more and more. This morning at the doctor's office a nurse said hi to him and he freaked out. His separation anxiety in public places is sky high right now. Any suggestions? I knew the little guy had a tendency toward the dramatic like his mother, but this is a little crazy. He is only happy eating goldfish while he watches Barney. Just a phase? And when does being up all night when he is teething stop? Other than this the kid is perfect, of course. I guess one other dramatic thing he does that is funny is say MMmmmm the whole time he is eating his fish. It's like he is telling me, "Mom, these fish are the greatest thing on earth. Thank you so much!" I know I am his first teacher, but how do you teach a one year old to take a chill pill when he gets pissed?

Sincerely,
Strung Out Mother of One

Butt Munch

I've been saying the above phrase extremely often lately. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it is that it is a fun thing to say. Butt Munch. Or perhaps it goes back to my 4th grade year when my brothers and neighbors and I started a club in our backyard tool shed. The only membership requirement was that you had to take a polaroid picture of your butt and hang it in the shed. Maybe it is the fact that I see Thomas' butt at least 3-4 times a day when I change his diapers. Here is the phase used in a conversation:
Adrienne: "I'm going to go buy a new recliner-glider chair today. I'll be putting $500 on the credit card. Ok?"
David: "No."
Adrienne: "If you love me you will want me to have a place to sleep when Thomas gets up 3x per night."
David: "No."
Adrienne: (under breath) "Butt Munch."
David: "What?"

I'm So Cool.

I'm feeling very scandalous right now. Flip-Flops and Chocolate is now officially racy. David tried to log on today at Panera and couldn't get on due to "inappropriate content." I wonder if it was the cuss words, the slut talk, or the womanly issues. I didn't know my writing was so controversial. Readers, beware!

Sick.

Someone in our home has been sick since October 1st. The only good thing about this fact is that I have received a ton of extra cuddles this winter. Oh and the 3 extra pounds I have lost from throwing up. Thomas was diagnosed this week with Reactive Airway Disease, which is similar to Asthma. He has been sick so much because his little lungs and airways get clogged with bacteria. He has to do breathing treatments 3x/day to try and clear things up. We are really hoping to get out of the woods soon and be healthy again.

She Was Almost Back.

I had a big scare this morning when I woke up and puked all over the shower. Even though logically I knew pregnancy was not possible (I had a period 2 weeks ago, we use dual protection, and we haven't exactly put too many cookies in the cookie jar since starting school), my mind still went straight to the thought. Thinking about being pregnant again brought a large range of emotions for me. Part of me was excited at the possibility of holding a tiny baby again and watching he or she grow as Thomas has this year. The other part of me was thinking the following thoughts:

"Ok now I officially remember what I felt like every day of my early pregnancy except since I never actually puked (just felt sick all the time) I never got the feeling of relief after it happened."

"I really want Jolly Ranchers to "settle" my stomach. Wait sugar is why you gained so much weight the first time."

"How would I ever take care of myself AND a very busy 14 month-old?"

"SH*&! I still have at least 3 pounds to lose before getting really fat again!"

"I'm going to look like a lard in Callie's wedding just like I did in Julie's!"

And finally, "David is going to FREAK out because if we deliver a baby before January 1, 2009 our insurance won't cover it."

So, while I know women have babies closer than 2 years apart all the time, I was grateful today when I puked for the second time all over the bathroom floor at my school and came down with a fever. I've never considered the stomach flu a blessing. I know now I'm not quite ready to go back to the dark side.

Big Bark, Small Bite

I was so excited last week to begin taking classes toward my Elementary Education certificate, which will allow me to counsel in the schools. I'm still very excited to have something outside the home, but I think I may have been a big talker about wanting time away from Thomas when in reality I'm becoming a softy. Thomas is going to an excellent school right by our house two mornings a week and has done terribly with the transition. This morning we both ended up crying in the director's office not wanting to leave each other. I guess I am learning that no matter how ambitious you are, how good it is for you to work outside the home, and how great you think school will be for your child it's still the hardest thing ever to leave your baby. I didn't know I had such strong mommy heartstrings!

New Year's Resolutions

I'm always one to ease into transitions, including the new year. It takes me a few weeks to get my feet on the ground and in a new schedule before settling into a rhythm. I always have to think about what my resolutions are going to be for a few weeks too. In grad. school we had to pick one thing to work on/practice/learn about and design a learning contract. I'll let you know if I unpack these further in that way as we go along. So here we go:

1. Be less judgmental about how other people spend money, especially extremely wealthy people.

2. Get up every week day by 6:30am.

3. Choose not to feel guilty about adding the career piece of myself back into my life.

4. Go on more cultural dates with my husband.

5. Take pictures that help me create a story through writing.

6. When I have the choice, make the more simple decision 60% of the time.

My fruit of the spirit that I am going to focus on/read about/try to live out this year is faithfulness. Now that I've stated all of these to blog readers, I better get busy and go to bed.

Update.

This check-in is going to be in bullet format, just like my dad writes letters.
1. Christmas: All the traveling went well. We were sick before and after. Thomas' favorite present was a ping-pong ball to put in his mouth (the whole thing). He also got a tricycle and a wagon he likes quite a bit. He isn't into wrapping paper at all yet, but he is really into babies. He met David's newborn cousin in Houston and has been going up to babies ever since. David says this means he needs a sibling. I like to tell Callie it means he needs a cousin. The trip only had one disagreement with the in-laws. Again, progress.

2. Weight-loss: Status quo. No ups or downs during the holidays. I'm going to Jazzercize 3x/week and using a new software I like called Calorie King. Holding steady for now...still hoping to lose a little more by Callie's wedding in March.

3. Career: I start my classes next week. I'm excited because getting this particular certificate will allow me to counsel in the school districts. I'm not sure how long it will take me to finish up, but at least I'm working toward a goal. My brother Paul was transfered home over the break, and I've been working for him. He and my dad have to give gifts once a month to all their clients, so I put those together for them. In fact, let's take a little poll: What are some of the best gifts in the $25-30 range you have received? I'm looking for thoughtful, unique ideas that are easy to ship.

4. Marriage: David and I are going to Chicago this weekend. It will be the first time we leave Thomas for more than a night. We are so excited to get away. I realized over the break that I/We have never really grieved the loss of our freedom since becoming parents. We've both been afraid to admit that not being able to travel and do whatever we want to anymore is tough. With David home this month I have tasted the sweetness of saying, "I'm going shopping" and leaving...not having to plan it out and get a sitter and think about nap times. Maybe I am more selfish than most, but I've really missed that lately.

5. Church/God/Politics: We are still working on this. We want to make sure before jumping into another church that we know what we are looking for and what we believe. Our latest disagreement with the conservative right has been the role of women in ministry. The more I read scripture, the more I am seeing that men and women should be on equal ground. Many have asked me if I will be voting for Senator Clinton. My answer is absolutely yes IF Obama doesn't get the nomination. I like HIlary's platform, I like that she is a woman, I'm just not sure she is the RIGHT woman for the job.

6. Crushes: I'm still pretty hot on Ryan Gosling, although David got this new haircut that has been quite the head-turner lately.

7. Reading/Books: Just finished 'Shop Girl' by Steve Martin. Pretty good. Definitely entertaining. Also read 'Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Clairborne. Pretty amazing stories on social justice. Now starting 'Lovely Bones.' Kind of freaky at night.

More later...

The Nativity Scene According to Thomas.

Each day lately when I pick up all the toys, I've noticed that the same things are always in the children's nativity scene we got from Grandma Nancy. Thomas very intentionally sets things up this way...

I so wish he was old enough to explain his choices to me. I'm thinking something like this: The football is a mountain backdrop. There was some construction going on around the manger, so of course there has to be a tow-truck. Joseph went out to get ice chips for Mary during labor in the red sports car. The puzzle piece is a bird flying through the air, and the block is the guest house where the wise men stay. The plastic orange donut thing represents a hot tub for everyone to chill in after their long journeys, and the angel and Joseph are guarding the "Baba" Jesus (who is always in the manger---the kid is a genius, don't you think?). All of the animals and the shepherd have to go in the basket below the scene because it's too cold to be outside, and Mary is hanging out behind the guest house cleaning herself off after labor. She's also probably gaining her composure, seeing as she just gave birth to the Son of God and all.

Merry Christmas!

Yummmm.

Just so there are not any secrets between us, I admit that I LOVE Taco Bell. I eat there about once a week. Even after looking up the nutrition information I still go there once a week and just order less. Nachos Bell Grande at 750 calories without sour cream...Yum.

I Laughed.

It's amazing how many of these things I've already heard myself say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM

Grrrr...

In case you didn't know, all Drehers (my maiden name) have an arch rival. The rivalry usually begins in about 2nd Grade when a classmate starts to stand out and receive recognition more than the others. Drehers are intense, and did not like sharing the spotlight, thus they declared war for the remainder of the childhood years. Because all three Dreher children are pretty much average in every way, the arch rivals always won in the end. But I must say we put up a good fight.

My arch rival began to emerge in early elementary school as smarter, faster, more coordinated, and more popular than me, with my chubby little legs and awkward tinted glasses. In middle school and then high school she was skinnier, prettier, and again more popular. We competed for Homecoming Queen, Class President, Valedictorian, and Varsity Cross Country...all of which she won. More on arch rivals to come...

Season's Greetings!

It has been really fun for me the past few years to start some of my own holiday traditions. One of the traditions I've attempted to begin in my family is the phrase, "Season's Greetings!" I have a jingle bell that I keep in my pocket at Thanksgiving Dinner. As soon as the meal is over before anyone starts to clean up, I ring the bell under the table and say, "Season's Greetings!" This is the official start to the Christmas Season. While currently my brother and husband roll their eyes at this tradition, I'm hoping all the kids in my family will one day be excited each year when they officially hear the bell and know the season has begun.

Some other traditions we have are: always hanging mistletoe in our home for David and I to make-out under, setting up the tree Thanksgiving weekend (notice how all the ornaments are on the top half this year for you know who), and setting up my collection of nativity scenes in a unique way. This year's featured favorite is the one above given to us by David's Aunt. It is very colorful and detailed. I love it and just found the rest of the pieces I needed at a store close by to complete the set. This particular scene is not the one that Thomas is allowed to play with, especially after finding his velcro Baby Jesus out of his Christmas Story book in the fake gumball machine, in Norman's Mouth, and thrown down the stairs this week. He also likes to put his "Baba" in his wagon and pull him around. What are some traditions you have tried to get off the ground? I hope your heart is light this month. Season's Greetings!

Then and Now

Man I had a fat face and a bad haircut for awhile there. Don't let me ever cut my hair that short again! It looked good when I first did it as a skinny-faced gal, but pregnancy and leaving my favorite-ever stylist in Denver made things go really downhill. Scary. Here's a picture with some of my BFF's from grad. school at the 2 month postpartum point.

At least I can say things are looking up, although Thanksgiving didn't help things much. Here's a more recent picture you have probably seen of me before. As you can tell I'm really losing weight in all the right places. See the poll to the right to share your personal thorn.